Notes From Underground (#10): No Kings! And No Dictators!

The Declaration of Independence Needs No Update

Happy 4th of July everyone!

No better way to celebrate the 4th than to look at one of our founding documents, the Declaration of Independence:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Sounds good so far. But let’s skip ahead a bit:

“The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.”

Interesting. Substitute “Great Britain” for “America,” and we have got our own pretend King.

“He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.” Geez, that reminds me of Trump refusing to distribute government funds that Congress has set aside for special specific purposes.

“He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, [and] uncomfortable…for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures” (emphasis mine). You mean kinda like the tactics Trump used to get the unpopular Big Beautiful Bill passed? The reverse Robin Hood of legislation, no less?

“He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners.” Might as well have been said about Trump too. Just add, “attacking birthright citizenship and starting an unheard-of attack on those we once saw as our fellow Americans.”

“He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone.” Check. Or, at least, Trump tried to in one of the versions of his megabill.

“He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.”

Meanwhile, Trump has rapidly expanded DOGE and ICE (“New Offices”), destroyed old government departments that actually helped regular people, and sent out ICE to harass law-abiding inhabitants. Close enough.

“He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.” Replace “Standing Armies” with “Standing Armies of Masked Immigrant Law Enforcement Agents,” and you’ve got your man in Donald Trump.

“He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.” Yes he has. National Guard and Marines. And all to distract from the infamous Elon brawl—and the whole war of words over the Epstein Files.

“He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts:” Basically, Trump’s deal with El Salvador’s Bukele, all meant to help Bukele cover up his role in cooperating with gangs like MS-13 that terrorized American citizens.

Okay, let us skip ahead a bit:

“For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world: For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent: For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury: For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences [in Sudan or El Salvador?]:”

Whoa, whoa, whoa, that hits a little too close to the present moment. Let’s skip ahead again:

“He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.” Close enough. In truth, he has only plundered our Budget, ravaged our Social Services, stolen our Government’s Funds for Expensive Personal Gifts from foreigners and foreign Nations, and destroyed the livelihoods of our people by making them slaves to our mounting Debt.

[That debt, by the way, largely came from tax cuts for the rich and foreign wars financed by previous Republican presidents].

“He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.”

Replace “Indian Savages” with “Billionaire Savages,” and you actually have something much more accurate to the historical record.

“In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.”

Amen!

And if you like this, I also drafted out my own version of the Declaration. Feel free to sign it there—if you are so interested. “In the name of democracy, let us all unite!”